So, I'm just going to put it out there. I am a bad* mom. I do things that would make some moms cringe, and I'm not afraid to admit it (any more).
Both of my girls drank formula. I tried (unsuccessfully) to breastfeed both of them. Carly was too sleepy, even when we'd strip her down to her diaper, tickle her, etc. Taylor got too hungry too fast, even when we'd wake her up to feed her. For something supposed to be so natural, it did not come naturally to me- physically or emotionally. It's too young to tell with Taylor, but I am happy to report that Carly is not stupid, is not a picky eater, and has had one slight ear infection in three years. (and I have a feeling Taylor won't end up so bad either. :) ). I applaud women who do breastfeed because I know what a struggle it is, but I don't appreciate anyone who judges me because I didn't....and to be honest, IF we have a third child, I might not even try. It was really hard having the first days with my babies be full of crying hysterically (me and them).
Carly eats foods with ***gasp*** high fructose corn syrup. I never even knew people freaked out about this until I joined an online mommies group. Again, if you choose to feed your children more natural foods, I think that's wonderful but don't judge me for giving my kids juice or fruit snacks.
I let Carly *****even bigger gasp***** cry it out as a baby (but not until she was 6 months old). When nothing got her to sleep, or kept her asleep once she was in the crib, we decided to try it. It is hard but it worked. We did check on her every few minutes to comfort her, but she ended up being a great sleeper (at least until I was about 6 months pregnant with Taylor!- different story).
And last, but not least, I let Carly watch tv. Not all day and not everything under the sun, but I do. I wish I was super mom and could find a way to cook, clean, shower, make myself presentable, etc. while still keeping my child entertained tv-free, but I don't see that happening any time soon.
(*Bad by other people's standards. I personally do not think I am a bad mom. Far from perfect, but not bad.)
2 comments:
YOU are NOT a bad mom! Bad is not knowing how to keep your child alive. I'd say you are superb! Don't let any trendy new mom who has read everything under the sun on "how to be the best parent" tell you any different. Just do what comes naturally. Beckham eats sugar, watches T.V., and cries himself to sleep (and go figure, he's a healthy growing boy).
You're not a bad mom. Bad moms let their kids eat foods with high fructose syrup and watch TV at the same time. Wait...did I do that yesterday?
In all seriousness, I believe good mothering can come in many different incarnations. Most mothers make what they hope will be the right choice for their family and kids, and women shouldn't think that mothers who choose differently are wrong.
When it comes right down to it, whether we nurse or not, whether we ban TV from our homes or allow kids to watch it in moderation, we're mothers first. And, one thing we all have in common is that we have children we love, and we're trying to raise them the best we know how.
God bless you in your vocation.
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